waterfall with leaf

Growth Comes From Challenge

I see plenty of unsettling things occurring on the planet right now. I believe this is just humanity growing. Often before I have changed and matured I had to see my old ways fail me which created very challenging and difficult experiences. During these times if I am able to surrender and open myself to new possibilities, it can allow me to experience incredible growth and success. I feel humanity as a group is going Read more…

racing motorcycles in curve

Looking past COVID for my business with racing eyes.

Until my wife put her foot down I was a wannabe motorcycle racer. Navigating COVID as a business owner reminds me of navigating a dangerous sharp curve on a racing bike. Proper preparation entering the curve is critical to avoid serious injury or even death. Death of the business is a serious risk in the case of an economic downturn like this. Efficiently exiting the curve with max momentum determines long term success of both Read more…

picture of leaf representing self

Self –Worth from External Sources

In my previous post I talked about the wonderful emotional tool of boundaries and presented my favorite tool of pretending to be in a jar. In this post I would like to talk about one of the reasons it was so hard for me to exercise boundaries: lack of self-worth. Many of us are raised and or exposed to people who do not have healthy self-worth. Worse, since the media is usually going after the Read more…

Self-Protection from the Emotions of Others

In last week’s post, Don’t Take Anything Personally  I talked about not taking others words and actions personally. Like many helpful concepts, it is easier said than done, especially if someone is yelling at you. During therapy in my forties I learned about an incredible tool called “boundaries” that made this so much easier. Boundaries are an aspect of emotional intelligence, something I was totally clueless about most of my life. I was able to Read more…

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Working through a 12-step recovery program gave me the opportunity for some incredible insights about my motivations, which was both good and bad. The bad, was waking up to my own harmful behavior. The good, was learning about the present circumstances and family of origin issues that were leading to that behavior. Even better was intimately learning about other people and what was leading them to their harmful behavior. The common theme I was able Read more…

Forgiveness is Not About the Abuser

Forgiveness was a critical tool during my recovery and growth. Years later, it is obvious to me it was a tool for my healing, not something for those who had wronged me. I was also surprised to learn that not only is it primarily for the victim, but it can be done completely alone. Hearing it is not about the abuser might be a difficult pill to swallow, but at the end I will share Read more…

Perhaps Hope is What Saved Me

Sometimes it is hard for me to comprehend how much my perspective has changed since I left high school. Today I have plenty of money, a wonderful wife and family, and I feel like I have infinite resources to help me do and be whatever I want. However, there was a time in my life when I had little to lose except my own life. Worse, probably much worse, I had very little to look forward to. I had gone from being kicked out of the Navy to living in a storage unit, to couch surfing with no money, no job, no car, and no real friends. Life wasn’t working out for me. In fact, not too long ago my own father confessed to me he did not think I would survive this period of my life. (more…)